| Believe the Change is Coming Soon... |
[09 Oct 2009|03:48pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"The Royal We" Silversun Pickups |
] |
so, i realized that while in my broken state, things became very odd. life became more bleak and rather dark. the path i was seeing was not a good one. that all went away as soon as i was able to get out of my apartment. at first, i thought that going "stir crazy" meant being frustrated about not being able to leave... i now realize it means actually going crazy from not being able to leave an area. it all seems so surreal. it's hard to believe that i had broke my pelvis earlier this year. i mean, i still feel achy in that area, but other than that, no problems.
Fletchers closed. that's a whole other thing i've been dealing with. the club closed last Thursday for good. it's rather upsetting because i grew up in that place. the only other person who really understands what i'm going through is my sister because she feels the same way. besides the bar tender Corey, i was there more than anyone at that club for the past 4 years. i've lost a home and a family as well as a job. a good 60% of my income is now gone. working at Barnes & Noble just isn't cutting it anymore. i am having difficulty making ends meet and it's driving me crazy. i know that all i need to do is find a real job.
today i went to the Career Center at Loyola College (now Loyola University... still not sure how i feel about that). i got a push in the right direction but when i called my boyfriend Matt and he asked me "so, what are you going to do now that you're grown up?" i still had to answer "i don't know." and that's what's frustrating. i know what i'm good at. i know what i enjoy. but i can't for the life of me figure out how to reconcile the two. i'm feeling an immense pressure right now from both my father and myself about finding something and finding it quickly. i cannot go another month telling myself that i cannot eat or drive to see Matt because i have to pay bills. but, if anyone knows of any advertising agency or publishing company or promotions company that needs someone, let me know. so, that's my update. until next time...
♥
|
|
| I'd Like to See... How You All Would Bleed for Me... |
[21 Mar 2009|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Bleed the Freak" Alice in Chains |
] |
i know it's been a while since i've posted to this thing.. but what else is new? i guess i should start off as to why i'm sitting in front of my computer compelled to update this damn thing. so, gather 'round for story time. the date is March 8, 2009 and i am bored to tears at Barnes & Noble. it's a very slow Sunday so i reach for a Women's Health magazine out of boredom. the weather in Towson is gorgeous and i'd rather be outside than cooped up inside. i resolve to go home and get off my lazy ass and go outside where the sun shone warmly. "wanna go outside for a bit?" i asked my roommate after work. we left the building, her in running attire and me with rollerblades in tow. after not having skated for 4 or 5 years, i put them on and and ready for everything... except the speed i was accumulating going down the hill in front of the building. lost balance. lurched forward. bounced and skidded. pool of blood forming at my mouth. i felt my mouth... still have all of my teeth. after arguing with my roommate about not needing an ambulance even though i couldn't move, i caved. 5mg of morphine intravenously, a board, and a paramedic calling me a dumb ass for not wearing a helmet. i was transported to GMBC. after the agony of being moved off the gurney to the x-ray table and back again, i find i have fractured my pelvis and need 6 stitches in my right thigh. two days later, i'm released from the hospital... resigned to spend the next two weeks in pain, barely able to move, needing help from all around me. </story>
edit: yes... i know i switched tenses... deal with it
the time i've spent in my room, staring at the three walls i could see, caused me to think about everyone around me: my mother, my father, my sister, my boyfriend, my roommate's friend, and my roommate. some were the kind of realization that brought about good... others, bad. i've told all but one so far of my enlightenments. the one that i dreaded most was my roommate, because this is one i know i need to live with for the next few months. things were going well until i realized how much i've been tip-toeing around her. i've had to be myself in my room and shed some aspects of myself when i crossed the threshold to the hallway. the apartment is always a mess because of her, her friend practically lives here and doesn't pay for the space he takes up (which is really less of a problem for me due to circumstances in his life), she does what she wants without thinking about how it would affect those around her, has people stay over without consulting me, and doesn't give me and my boyfriend space when he's over. when i went to address these, she brought up my recreational habits (which i have kept confined to my room) saying that it could jeopardize her career, that she pays for cleaning supplies, and then starting naming what was hers (ie. the couch and television). i told her i would reimburse her for the supplies if she would clean. after attacking my boyfriend's financial situation, she stormed into her room. i called my sister. stayed outside on the phone for a half hour. i come back in and she took the tv and the Wii into her bedroom... leaving my PS2 on an empty "entertainment system." the whole thing is extremely childish on her part. i realize now that we are on two completely different planes of maturity. point that i'm trying to make is that i've done a lot to make sure that i respect her living space and i can't get the same courtesy in return. the more i've thought about it, the more i've realized that people have been doing this to me my entire life... most prominently in the last 5 years. personally, i would love to know how everyone else in my life i consider close "would bleed for me." i probably would be surprised by the responses i'd get.
i would move into an apartment when the lease is up that would be a one bedroom, but i don't have the money. i'm really worried that i'm going to have to move back into my mother's house. and after talking to her today, that's what she's trying to get me to do. sure it would save money, but it would result in my boyfriend and i driving about 1.5 hours to see each other and me feeling trapped again. i know that i'm going to have a hard time once i split from her because she did provide a lot of the furniture and i will be dealing with the medical bills that are accumulating because i don't have insurance.
i don't even know why i'm posting half of this... i guess it's just because i need to completely get this off my chest. i guess it's also partially because i know i'm going to need a roommate starting in July. i dunno. i've ranted enough.
♥
|
|
| I... I Will Begin Again... |
[06 Jan 2009|06:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"New Years Day" U2 |
] |
well... i guess i should do the annual "year wrap up" thinggy. i went back and read some entries from the past year and i must say that i've completely forgotten about how much shit went down and what all changed. it's been a crazy year. but anyway... my Ravens made it to the playoffs and had their first playoff game in a long time... and won! next up.... Titans!
( the surveys )
♥
|
|
| All My Life's Been Changing Tides... |
[02 Dec 2008|02:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Changing Tides" VooDoo Blue |
] |
just when i thought that things in my life couldn't get any weirder... it does. but, by weird... i mean it in a good way. in the past month, i've been seeing someone and most people don't really know about it. i can't exactly scream it from the rooftops for a couple of reasons. first, we still don't know what to do with the other. there are things we both adore about the other, but there's something in each of us pulling us away from the other... neither really know what is exactly causing it. oh well. we've decided to just ride it out and see what happens. however, it should be really interesting if we are still seeing each other (although he considers us to be dating) when his band puts out their next album and then goes on tour. he told me that anywhere he goes, all i have to do is say where and i'm there. that's rather exciting... i have a couple of places in mind. *grins* the other reason why we're not saying too much to others about it is because there are some crazy people out there that have stalked and threatened his past girlfriends... i'm not saying i'm his girlfriend... but it's just better to stay on the side of cautious.
on another note of weird, last night was probably the best in a loooooong time. i was managing at Fletchers when Kel called me from the front door telling me to come out of hiding in my office and come downstairs. i went downstairs and she said that someone was there that would be the last person we'd expect to see walking through the doors of Fletchers. so, i went outside and found no other than Mike Silberman. for those who don't remember, he was the original singer of VooDoo Blue. nothing was better than seeing him and seeing him healthy. he looked so good. i haven't seen him in almost five years and the last time i talked to him, he barely recognized me. when he saw me last night, he smiled and i was just glad he knew who i was. it had been way too long. but, he's currently living in Boca Raton, FL with an insurance job. he's been clean for three years and i couldn't have been happier to hear that. Marni: he told me to tell you he say hello. but he is going to come back to town for his brother's graduation. he gave me his number and told me to call him if ever in Florida. so, yea... i had to share with someone and i hadn't updated this thing in a while. it's been a while since i've been this happy. anyway, until next time...
♥
|
|
| This is the Start of Something Good, Don't You Agree... I Haven't Felt Like this in so Many Moons... |
[15 Sep 2008|11:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Follow Through" Gavin DeGraw |
] |
so, in the last entry, i said something about throwing my arms in the air and proclaiming i don't fucking care. that's my outlook on life now. if something does not go the way i hoped/intended it to, rather than letting it fester and ultimately stress me out, i throw my arms in the air. it's a very very beautiful thing. i've managed to keep 90% of my stress level down. anyway, big things are brewing. i have the Halloween show at Fletchers. i booked that sucker and now i get to try to promote it. i'm excited to see how the turnout is because i have people saying that they were going to go to Bedrock on Halloween, but now they're coming to Fletchers. it's cool really. i'm stealing crowds from other venues and the show is still over a month away. then there is this other thing i'm working on at Fletchers. Keith called me one day with an idea for a "stripped" night. think of MTV Unplugged when MTV was the godfather of all things music... instead of all things reality. we are trying to do this monthly right now and the line-up is pretty sick for the first one... just need the date to open. ha! while still in Fletchers mode, i have a meeting tomorrow to discuss what is going on for Wednesday and Thursday. both days will be insane. Wednesday, i have to be down there at 11:30 in the morning and i won't be going home until around 1 or 2am. Thursday, i cannot get out of my shelving shift at Barnes and Noble so i have to go in to BN at 7, leave at 10:30, and be down at Fletchers at 11:30. once again, i will not be getting home until 1 or 2 am... possibly later for Thursday. Wednesday, we have Nappy Roots playing and Thursday is Tom Morello! i get to be in charge of hospitality as well as some managerial stuff in between. it's going to be absolutely crazy. on a non-Fletchers note, i've seem to have become somewhat of a big fish in a medium sized pond lately... still reaching for that big fish small pond thing. i went to Rams Head Live on Friday for When Gotham Falls's CD release show (which was awesome by the by). anyway, i had Jimmy approach me for the second time about working some nights at the Black Hole Club in Dundalk. first and foremost, Jimmy was the tour manager for SR-71, so he knows a couple different sides to the business. the night that Evolver played Fletchers, he approached me about possibly managing a few nights when there are two shows going on at the same time. i hadn't had a chance to get down there and talk to him about it, so Friday, he approached me again. we got interrupted and i couldn't give him my contact info yet again. so, i e-mailed the club asking for Jimmy's e-mail and he responded by saying that he was going to talk to the owner about me. so, that's one thing. at the end of the night, i was approached by Trent who used to work at Angel's Rockbar. he said before he was asked to leave, he and Bethel were talking about having me come in and run a few shows and book a few as well... of course on the nights i have off of Fletchers. it's definitely flattering, but i don't know how much i want to have to do with Rockbar. i've heard a lot about the employees being unhappy because of the restrictions placed upon them and i know about their financial situation. but, the point is, there are two other clubs who want me. see?? just goes to show you that you can get anywhere you want to be just by working hard and loving (or feigning loving) what you do. anyway, that's all i have for now because i have a ton of shit to get done today. as soon as i hear back from Jimmy, i will definitely post. until next time...
♥
oh... by the by... just checked the horoscope: Try not to do much today--you've got to take care of yourself first and foremost. You can tell there's a big shift coming that will favor you but you've got to ride out this slow patch. weird... no?
|
|
| Today is the Greatest Day that I Have Ever Really Known... |
[20 Aug 2008|08:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Today" Smashing Pumpkins |
] |
i just needed to record this day as one of the best i've had in a looooooooooong time. i'm in probably the best mood 98% of people i know have ever seen me in. i feel like throwing my arms in the air and proclaiming i don't give a fuck! it's pretty damn liberating. i feel calmed and relaxed... haven't felt this way in a long time. there are many factors in this happening to me today, but most of it stems from my reflective period last week. it's a very very beautiful thing. anyway, that is all i should bother you with. until next time...
♥
ps. memory foam matresses = amazing!
|
|
| Tired of the Shadowing... Slide Me to the Side Again... Slapped in the Face Again... |
[17 Aug 2008|11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Head Creeps" Alice in Chains |
] |
ok, so i've realized that guys can go suck my dick. haha. i just love how guys are always telling me how they "don't want a relationship right now" so i give them distance and hang out as a friend and then they turn around and start dating someone more obnoxious/less attractive/younger than me... always leaving me hanging like laundry. after this girl enters, that starts the end of us hanging out because he now has her and doesn't seem to care too much about the friendship you two developed while he was bitching to you about the girl before you started hanging out with him. this is the third yes... third time this has happened to me. is this something common with other people or is it just me? i mean seriously... i don't get it. and then to top it all off, it seems as though the only people who show interest in me either are married or are currently in a long term relationship. shit's just getting annoying. i've been brushing shit like this off for way too long that it's actually starting to bother me. i could care less whether or not i'm in a relationship right now... especially with the revelation i came to last night. with being in the music business, i am married to my job. whatever relationship i may have will definitely come second to my job because there's no set schedule. think about it. most 9-5's are just that... 9am to 5pm. work doesn't call at 11pm asking for a phone meeting or an emergency get together. people call me at all hours and there are times i have to drop what i'm doing and meet up with someone because of business or have to run to Fletchers 2 hours earlier than i had to. then there's the staying later part too. i can never gage when i will be done with work. it may be 10pm or it may be 3am. i guess i'm just rambling because it's been something that's come up in conversation lately and it's been bugging the shit out of me. i just needed to vent.
speaking of venting: i bought Twilight by Stephenie Meyer after hearing about how much of an amazing book it is. honestly, i can't get past page 30. the writing is horrible (even for a teen-geared novel) and i have basically figured out the main pieces of it. can you say severely disappointed? 30 pages of first person angsty writing with "I" used like 40 times a page is not what i call amazing. i think Fish got to me last semester. she was constantly telling me that i used too many declaratives in my final project through the drafting process... now i'm judging other by this criteria. or perhaps the blame can be placed on Chuck Palahnuik. i read Haunted right before and decided to read Choke after starting Twilight. his writing is absolutely amazing and so creative. the man is a genius with diction and plot. he has a twisted sense of reality which is how most writers actually see the world--skewed--and i can't love it more. anyway, i've had the book for a couple of weeks now and i have no desire to pick it back up. on the other hand, i have never not finished a book. so i'm torn. do i finish a book i have no interest in or does it become the first book i've voluntarily bought and do not finish? *le sigh* on another book-related note, i picked up Hyperspace by Michio Kaku. it's amazing so far. i'm almost 100 pages into it and it is blowing my mind. it's a book on quantum physics that talks about how the laws of nature are simplified in higher dimensional space. he talks of string theory and Einstein and the development of theories of higher dimensions--by higher dimensions i mean more than just the 3 dimensional world we see. he gives these little anecdotes from his life to explain how an average person can think about what he is talking about. for an excerpt, click ( this link )
anyway, i need to be getting some sleep because i have to be working all day tomorrow. i will try to update a little more without sounding quite as whiny or angsty... and i promise not to go off on another book rant for a bit. anyway, if anyone can convince me to pick Twilight back up, i will thank you even though i may hate myself for it. until next time...
♥
|
|
| Fly on Your Wings Like an Eagle... Fly as High as the Sun... |
[20 Jun 2008|01:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Flight of Icarus" Iron Maiden |
] |
so, a lot of things have happened in the past month. life all of a sudden got crazy. i've been working everyday for the past 3 weeks and i've moved into the apartment at Ruxton Towers with Iman... room 911 bitch. yep, living with an Arab in room 911. i have my diploma and really have no idea where it is... i'm pretty sure it's at my mom's house. two nights ago, Kel and i went to see Iron Maiden again at Merriweather. absolutely amazing. there is no way to possibly put into words how this show was. Bruce Dickinson has such a great sense of humor and the entire band looked like they were having a blast on stage. i love it when the band looks like they actually want to be there and are having a ball playing. Bruce was saying that they were asked to relaunch Head Banger's Ball on MTV Europe and Maiden told them to go fuck themselves. he was saying that no one had done anything for the band in the past 25 years and they feel as though they don't have any favors to return. Bruce then asked everyone in the crowd under 26 years old to raise their hands and half the crowd stood with a hand in the air. it's amazing what word of mouth does for a band. i mean, Maiden is not played on the radio or promoted at all. the only place you can find any trace of them is a record store and Hot Topic. seriously, if you haven't seen them play--regardless whether or not you're a fan--you need to see them. a rather ironic thing happened that night. Kel and i went to Unos for food while we waited for the line of cars to die down and over dinner Steve and Keith came up in conversation... they were the first two people we ran into at Merriweather. later Kel was saying how this one guy looked like Jerimiah's long lost brother and who comes waddling past us after that but Jerimiah. we decided at that point we were going to say nothing about anyone else for fear they might show. but, that's all for right about now. i need to run to Ikea to pick up some missing pieces to my dresser so i can finish that bitch and maybe... just maybe... get the rest of my clothes. until next time...
♥
|
|
| Happy With What You Have to Be Happy With... |
[12 May 2008|11:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Happy With What You Have to Be Happy With" King Crimson |
] |
ok, so the past weekend has been absolutely insane, thinking back now, i hardly believe that i did what i did. i'm really so proud of myself for what i did. so, basically i am now a stage hand. i now am working for Charm City Crewing Company. i know... a lot of "C"s in that. Friday night, i worked for Live at Sonar. it was my first time actually loading and unloading shit. so, i guess i'm not really shlepping equipment anymore, i'm now hauling. but the amazing thing is that i worked for Kenny Chesney on Saturday. i had to be at Ravens stadium at 10pm and we started actually work at 10:30. i got to dismantle the party room while thumbing through Kenny's personal music collection and listening to Bob Marley. after that, i got to drive golf carts around the stadium. then came the "fun" stuff. i was moving steel and aluminum pieces of the stage during the break down of shit. i also go to fold the industrial sized "skins" from the sides and the top of the stage. we were finally cut from the strike at 2:30pm on Saturday. yep, that's a 16 hour shift moving heavy shit. we got 3 meals at every 5 hours for a half an hour. and that was our break. i'm so proud of myself for not complaining or stopping. the only problem i had all night was because of the union workers. those guys were dicks to us. sorry if we're freelance, but we rock harder than you do. heh. the freelance guys are like a family while the union guys are always at each other's throats. on the strike, there was maybe a total of 4 women (myself included). if this isn't keeping up with the boys, i don't know what is. the whole experience was awesome. i got to hang out with my friends and do things that you'd usually get in trouble doing at other jobs. after 10 hours, you get over time. so, 6 hours of over time sounds lovely to me. in short, i made almost $200 in one day. what goes on behind the scenes is really something amazing. what took a week to build was taken down in under 20 hours and everything was taken away in under a day. i was talking to Matt and he had a point when he said that when you take something down, no one really sees the work or knows about it. when a stage was constructed on the field, people knew that people took time to build it. but, when anyone comes into the stadium right now, no one really knows that there ever was a stage there, therefor, no one knows that people deconstructed the stage. today i had an 8am call at the Convention Center. i was setting up rooms with projectors and screens and moving very heavy cases with metal in them on top of building a 50 foot projection screen and scaffolding for 5 hours. so, i'm really tired and am really sore right now. but, i had a blast every day this week. oh, and because of the Live show, Brigitte at Sonar wants me as a part of the crew there. i'm so excited. venues usually don't offer permanent positions to people who stage hand after only one time... especially their first. so, i'm loving it. i am slowly but surely becoming a big fish in a small pond and it's all thanks to Mike. he said he's also going to get me in on Rams Head jobs too. so, yea. big things.
graduation is Saturday and i'm stoked. i finally get to get my diploma. i've worked four long years on this bitch. i know i deserve it. after graduation, i will be working at Barnes and Noble in Towson (sorry Sarah dear) because i will be moving into an apartment with my current roommate, Iman. we hopefully will be living at Ruxton Towers which is 695 at Charles Street. so, things are finally looking up for me. anyway, i'm exhausted so i'm going to get out of here and go home and sleep. until next time...
♥
|
|
| And The Worries of the Day Lie Down... Under Cover of the Fading Clouds... |
[30 Apr 2008|12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Walking on Air" King Crimson |
] |
so, everything has been weird lately... in a very good way. i have my first Condor gig. it's next Saturday at M&T Bank Stadium. i will most likely be loading and unloading trailers... and by trailers i mean sixteen wheelers. it is the Kenny Chesney show. so, this should be fun... back breaking... but fun. we shall see if i am still alive next Sunday. as long as i am able to walk by the following Saturday for graduation... that's all i care about. so, on top of that, there is a really good chance i will be going out on the road with a band who has been signed to a major label for a long time and is well established in the metal community. i'm sooo excited. i wouldn't be working for them, but the openers if it happens. lately, i've been in the right place at the right time. i put in an application at the BN in Towson and ran into an old co-worker who said that my timing couldn't be more perfect because Towson needs people. and the fact that i'm already trained is a huge bonus. aaand the boy has been hitting on me like no other lately. i think it may be time to say something soon-ish. this not really being anything is driving me nuts. i mean, everyone already thinks that we are dating. on top of everything, i've started looking at apartments with my current roommate. we are excited. there's still a lot of looking to do, but our research is almost completely done. anyway, it's the annual list of shit Beth has to finish for school by the 8th:
~ Presentation Paper for Music
~ Reading Responses for Style Study
~ Reflection for Style Study
~ Revise Seminar Piece <------- 15/19 pages have been revised and reworked
~ Write 1980's 6 Page Paper
~ Compile Portfolio for 1980's
~ Do Practice Exams for Jew Class
~ Write Out Terms for Music
~ Take Jew Class Exam
~ Take Music Exam
~ Ethics Final Paper
it's countdown to graduation time!!
♥
|
|
| If LSD Was as Popular as Cocaine... I Wouldn't Drive a DeLorian... |
[09 Apr 2008|12:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Bring Me the Head of Andy Warhol" Polkadot Cadaver |
] |
so, for the first time in a while, i honestly feel depressed. i think, so far, this is a major accomplishment--being able to hold it off for this long... for that, i believe i have Mike to thank. anyway, these last two days have been rather shitty. last night, i found out that after promising me in September that i would be managing when he was away, Jeff basically went back on his word. i told Kel that she would be working at Fletchers basically all summer. i was banking on this over the summer as well. instead, although he's not really going anywhere, he was training another person in the manager position. needless to say, i'm not happy. however, i told Mike that i am taking up his offer to work with him and Tim Condor over the summer. so, the days and hours will be sporadic but it will be an awesome networking opportunity. the only thing is i will need to start strength training as soon as possible as i will be doing some awesome manual labor for some insane gigs. i decided that mainly so that i do not screw over my sister because Jeff screwed me over. so, i told Mike and he said he'd gladly be my pimp because i will be his (and Condor's) bitch all summer long. then, tonight, Caroline came over and she and Imi started talking about apartments for the two of them to live in. i feel a little betrayed by Iman because that was originally our plan. but, alas, plans change. the more i think about moving home, the more restless and frustrated i get. i was hoping to be closer to the city--closer to my job at Fletchers. i figure that worse came to worse, i'd apply to work at the BN in Power Plant to get income because i am going back to BN regardless (unless i take Brian's advice and get a job at Best Buy in White Marsh... heh). my sister had expressed apprehension about me moving back home because of the relationship between me and my mother. we are both women of strong opinion, we clash because i am ruled by logic while she by emotion. and then there's the whole situation with the 32-year-old who lives on our couch. it's not exactly a situation i want to be in for a long time. my father says i can move in with him, but i cannot stand my now step-sister and the idea of living with my dad and his new wife just freaks me out because it's a weird situation. that does not mean i do not like them. but main thing is that i have been "on my own" for the past 4 years and now to move back into someone else's rules and somewhere so far from anywhere i need to be, i'm not looking forward to it. on top of everything, i have senioritis. i don't want to do school work and i cannot wait to get out. oh.. and did i mention that my birthday is Sunday and everyone i know wants to get me drunk? don't they know that there are other things to life than drinking? anyway, that's enough of that for tonight. </rant> so until next time...
♥
|
|
| Today I Forgot the Zeros and Ones... |
[02 Apr 2008|01:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Upgrade^Brigade" Fair to Midland |
] |
ugh... where to start? first and foremost, i feel a hell of a lot better. i still get really exhausted really quickly and am achy, but it's all good. last night was my first night back working at Fletchers in two weeks... i had never been so happy to be going to work in my entire life. of course, by the end, i was ready to kill people. yep... definitely feeling better. heh. so, i have less than a month of classes left and in all honesty, i could care less whether or not the work for said classes is getting done. i'm so over the whole school thing. i was talking to my roommate, Carrie, tonight and she was having a similar phenomenon. she doesn't care about school because she's thinking about her Canadian boy and how she's moving to Toronto for at least the summer. she's trying to get a work permit, but it's more complicated than anyone could really fathom. me? Mike finally called me today because i sent a rather urgent text. the boy's extremely busy... what can i say? we talked business for 45 minutes while i was supposed to be working at the writing center (i had no appointments all day). point is, i cannot wait for the opportunities that lay ahead. the only problem is that i should be doing a lot of work for that kind of stuff now rather than later. so, i find that passion is making me really want to work hardcore to actually land these opportunities in the music scene. this, of course, is coming at the expense of my drive to do school work. part of it is that i have a 600 page book to read and report on by Tues. i have a 6 page paper due tomorrow and my topic is the switch in economic philosophy--to go from government involvement to laissez faire thanks to Reagan and Thatcher--in the 1980's caused American citizens to adopt parts of both Mill and Kant's philosophies even though they are philosophers who are "opposite" each other. i have no desire to write said paper because, even though i came up with the topic, i don't understand it. ha! great, right? i mean, i understand what i want to say, i'm just having difficulty saying it. in short, it's nasty. i have a quiz on Thurs in world music and i have no notes. i need to learn about Sub-Saharan African Tribal music and its terms by Thurs. fun... no? i also have a book due by Monday and i don't know how many pages that one consists of. all i know is that i am working Thurs, Fri, and Sat at Fletchers and two of those nights will be with Mike and the other with Jeremy. so, yay. i really need something to motivate my slacker ass right now and get cracking on school work. anyway, i'm off to read the 600 page book... woo hoo for Jew class! until next time...
♥
|
|
| Maybe You Thought It Was All Pretend... |
[20 Mar 2008|10:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"4 AM Forever" LostProphets |
] |
well... my hectic lifestyle has caught up to me finally. i went to the doctor's office on Tuesday night and found out that i have mono. woo hoo! heh. so, i went home on Tuesday and have basically been in bed since. not gonna lie, being able to sleep like this is nice, now if i could only swallow without pain... my glands are so swollen in my neck that it is actually affecting how i breathe and pressure in my right ear. but, i've been following doctor's orders religiously. plenty of rest, liquids, and vitamins (mom got me Flintstone vitamins). i've been trying desperately to do school work, but it's just really hard to concentrate... and i have a lot of shit to get done. i'm probably going to be asking for extensions. but, i have a followup appointment with my actual doctor on Wednesday, so i'm going to see how i feel. i may just stay home until then and then go back to the dorm. even though, that means missing more class. luckily, i don't have 2 classes on Tuesday... so, i dunno. the only bad thing about ;staying is missing my dance rehearsals... the show is next weekend. but, i'm only in advanced modern, so there may be some hope. anyway, i'm going to try to get writing again while watching The First 48. until next time...
♥
|
|
| So Pull the Pin and Let the Whole Thing Go Between That Smile... |
[10 Mar 2008|01:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"My Pesticide" The Used |
] |
well... it's officially the end of an era and a few people seem to agree with me on this. Mike and i were talking about it Saturday morning at 5am. with the break-up of Fourth Element, it's the end of an era in local music. we are starting over. the big bands are no longer really with us: Lennex, VooDoo Blue, Agents of the Sun, Fourth Element, etc. some are continuing on, but line-ups are not the same and the music will never be the same... nor will the vibe of the band. i've seen it before when VDB went on without Mike. it was always so weird seeing them as a three piece and the people who had seen them as a four piece, abandoned the band. i was explaining to Matt and Adam on Saturday night that i think it's funny that the bands i saw during my first local show are all done with now: A-Phile, Another Lincoln (although they have a show coming up at Fletchers... the first in at least 4 years), VooDoo Blue, and now Fourth Element. i'd be lying if i said that i wasn't excited to see what the next generation of local musicians have to hold, but i'd also be lying if i said i wasn't crestfallen. it's a reminder that times are changing and Baltimore is not the same as it was when i was in high school. it's a reminder that i'm growing up... that life moves on whether or not you're ready for it. but that's all i really have to say right now about it because i should really be working. until next time...
♥
|
|
| Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear... |
[27 Feb 2008|05:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Stinkfist" Tool |
] |
i thought that this would be interesting... it's a meme i stole from Brooke's LJ. please play along people... i am filling the other two in tonight if no one else guesses...
1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them in your journal for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING / using IMDb search functions.
1. Casablanca... good job Kel
It's about a girl who had just come to Paris from her home in Oslo. At the house of some friends, she met a man about whom she'd heard her whole life. A very great and courageous man. He opened up for her a whole beautiful world full of knowledge and thoughts and ideals. Everything she knew or ever became was because of him. And she looked up to him and worshiped him... with a feeling she supposed was love.
2. Lost Boys.. courtesy Christine
Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my rootbeers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.
3. Velvet Goldmine... filled in by me
That man sitting over there in the white suit... is the biggest thing to come out of this country sinced sliced Beatles.
4. Newsies... KTO got it first
A: Extry, extry, read all about it! Ellis Island in flames!
B: Hey, where's that story?
A: Page nine. Thousands Flee in Panic!
B: "Trash Fire Next To Immigration Building Terrifies Seagulls"?
A: Terrified Flight from Inferno!
5. Sin City... Dave and Melissa
The night's as hot as hell. It's a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town - I'm staring at a goddess. She's telling me she wants me. I'm not going to waste one more minute wondering how I've gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman... the Goddess.
6. House of 1000 Corpses... Kel
Huntin' humans ain't nothin' but nothin'. They all run like scared little rabbits. Run, rabbit, run. Run, rabbit. Run, rabbit. Run rabbit. Run, rabbit, run! RUN, RABBIT, RUN!
7. Rocky Horror Picture Show... Kel again
And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects, called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning.
8. Bio-Dome... Dave and Melissa
I've never quit anything in my life except for Chinese calligraphy, my Theses 2, Kangaroo Anatomy, Toe Photography, Booger sculpture and masturbation. Well, maybe not masturbation but give me a break it's the only thing I'm good at.
9. A Goofy Movie... Dave and Melissa
How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
10. The Nightmare Before Christmas... Dave and Melissa
'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems in a place perhaps you've seen in your dreams. For the story you're about to be told began with the holiday worlds of auld. Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from. If you haven't I'd say it's time you begun.
11. Donnie Darko... KTO again
First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
12. This is Spinal Tap... filled in by me
For one thing that goes wrong... one... one single thing that goes wrong, a hundred things go right. Do you know what I spend my time doing? I sleep two or three hours a night. There's no sex and drugs for Ian, David. Do you know what I do? I find lost luggage. I locate mandolin strings in the middle of Austin!
13. Mallrats... Christine again
One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
14. Clerks... Christine again
You know what the real tragedy about all this is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!
15. Fight Club... KTO again
Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler
good luck!
|
|
| Upon Opening Up the Window... |
[18 Feb 2008|02:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Cygnus... Vismund Cygnus" The Mars Volta |
] |
i just thought that i'd share this with you. it's a real e-mail to Iman and i about our call made to physical plant this morning...
>>> <facilities@loyola.edu> 2/18/2008 1:26 PM >>>
This is to notify you that your service request has been assigned.
Service Request Number: 37623
Description: THE WINDOW SCREEN FELL OUT AND WE CAN'T REACH IT
Date Created: 18-FEB-08
Building: LAN
Floor/Unit: 40F-CMN
Assigned to: FBLEDSOE
Estimated Completion: 2 - Within 24 Hours
NOTE: THE ESTIMATED COMPLETION TIME IS SUBJECT TO THE NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS OF 7:30 A.M TO 4:00 P.M., MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY. IF YOUR REQUEST IS OF A CRITICAL NATURE AND REQUIRES IMMEDIATE ATTENTION, PLEASE CALL 410.617.2200.
Please do not reply to this message. This is a system-generated e-mail from an automated mailbox.
♥
|
|
| Ya' Musta Been Out of Your Head, Eye Hole Deep in Muddy Waters, You Practically Raised the Dead... |
[10 Feb 2008|11:12pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"The Pot" Tool |
] |
life's been really hectic lately. i swear i'm going out of my mind. each day and night, my mind is going something like 80,000RPM. i can't get a decent night's sleep because i don't stop working... even in my sleep. i dream of it. it's nuts. yet, there's so much to do. this whole Sonar thing is becoming more complex by the second... but i'm loving the ideas Mike and i are coming up with. school is kicking my fucking ass. i mean... 6 courses this semester. i should only be taking 5, but thanks to a LARGE miscommunication, i'm stuck with a class i shouldn't have to take. i have Intro to Judaism at 9:25 in the morning on Tues and Thurs and it's driving me nuts. it's bad enough that i have to be awake and semi-coherent for that class, but for him to constantly call on me for no reason, making me think in the morning, is just uncalled for. sample questions: "define religion," "am i holier than you?," "are you a prophet?" come on Rabbi. cut me some slack. please!! 9am is way too fucking early for me to be up when i don't go to sleep until 3-5 in the morning. especially on Thurs. most of the time, i go over to Mike's Wednesday after Project Runway and stay at his house talking business until 4am and then i drive back to campus, finally crawling into bed at 5am. 3 hours later, i'm awake and getting ready for Jew Class.
so, yesterday i went to the tattoo convention in Baltimore. it was the first the city has had since the 90's. it was cool. there were two ballrooms full of artists from all over the tri-state area as well as artists from MA, NY, and one guy from Tokyo, Japan who was doing traditional tattoos (you know, the hand done ones). there were people selling body jewelry, tattoo machines, and clothing. i basically stayed with Steve the entire time. he and i had a ball talking about work we want and the work we have. i find myself hanging out with him a lot. the two of us have grown closer, and it's absolutely awesome. but anyway, when i walked into the first ballroom when i got there, the sound of buzzing from the tattoo machines caused them to blast the music (which was pretty decent... Steve and i had a few qualms about what they were playing... but other than that, good). i was rather happy that my tattoo artist, Adam, was watching the shop because i know i would have dropped $300 to get tattooed if he would have been there. the Baltimore Tattoo Museum's booth was right across from the great Dan Henk's. he's an artist from Long Island who does extraordinary work (especially in horror and portraits). check him out on his website DanHenk.com. so, yesterday basically solidified a few things for me. 1) i want a large piece that is traditional Japanese work done by Dave Sobel from the Tattoo Museum. 2) i am definitely getting a Henk piece... somewhere.
i am currently in the middle of this absolutely awesome piece of writing. it's the first piece i've been happy with in a long time. it's currently about 6 pages. depending on the size of the piece by the end of the semester and whether or not i think i can expand on situations, i may go for a book deal after graduation. i'm really excited about this piece. i've decided to call it "The Air That I Breathe" after the All That Remains song because of the content.
speaking of music, i've been listening to a lot of Tool lately, and i've been wondering what it is about guys that i like and Tool. heh. i mean Francis was a big Tool fan. but, anyway, i've been finding that it's been actually relaxing me. looks like i've found a new stress relief. oh, i was watching tv today and saw a commercial on MTV for the Army using the cast of the Gauntlet and i'm about 90% sure they used a Between the Buried and Me song in the background (i think "Informal Gluttony" off Colors). speaking of BtBaM, i was watching a piece of the Grammys tonight. i am shocked that Colors wasn't nominated for anything. As I Lay Dying and Shadows Fall got a nod (they lost to Slayer) but still. as much as i love those two bands, Colors was definitely a better album than Slayer's or Shadows Fall. *sigh* oh well. i guess it's better to keep them the best kept secret of the music industry? i'm so excited that they are coming to DC with the tour with Opeth, 3, and Dream Theater. sooooo excited. anyway, i gotta get back to writing my piece. i've already not watched the movies or read the novel i was supposed to read for tomorrow. might as well get the written shit done. until next time...
♥
|
|
| Grandma Makes Me Smell Christmas Cards... |
[12 Jan 2008|03:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Plant Vochestra |
] |
at the beginning of last year, i had a feeling that something big was coming. i am thinking that the something big was this year. i have opportunity flying towards me and i really haven't done anything except befriend and hang out a boy i like. he was asked to start booking at Sonar because they fired Steez. so, last night, Mike asked me to book with him and we'd split profit 50/50. i'm slowly, but surely, moving towards what i want to do. i'm getting deeper into the music scene and hopefully this will lead to a better relationship with national bands. this will get me into contact with national acts and management. i am so excited if this goes like we both hope it will. also, i am no longer in the wishful thinking stage... things are starting to solidify. it's awesome. i mean, can you imagine anything better than working with your best friend doing something you love? if you can think of something better, please let me know. in short, gah! so excited! until next time...
♥
|
|
| You Whispered Softly in My Ear... "the Birth of Morning's Upon Us Dear" |
[01 Jan 2008|04:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"I Never Met Another Gemini" The Bled |
] |
and so... it starts. another year. in five months, my life will be changing. it will be the theme of the year, change. i graduate college in May and will enter a world of no more classes or assigned essays. it's an exciting and scary thought at the same time. something i hope this year brings is less drama. i'm so sick of drama. as Brandon said, "welcome to Maryland High." i graduated high school four years ago, there is no reason i should be stuck in the middle of high school drama bullshit. there's way too much of that in my life. 2007 started off with me breaking up with Francis and ended with the death of my cousin Michael yesterday. that pretty much sums up my year last year. there was 8 deaths, 4 weddings, 3 kids born, and a few announced pregnancies. there's also finding out that my grandfather has cancer and has started chemo/radiation regimen... finding out my dad's engaged... my parents' divorce was finalized... there were numerous court hearings regarding my mother... friends left for LA... friends have moved back from LA... and a lot of other things that i don't feel comfortable posting. that's an eventful year.
this year started off on a better note. last night i went to Sonar and then realized i was going to be there for a while. and i do mean a while. i ended up handing out mostly with Jon-Michael... he gave me an entire bottle of champagne for myself. best/worst idea of the evening. heh. anyway, the All-Mighty Senators ended up starting their set an hour late. by this time, we all were getting antsy. we wanted to get out of there. although, i must say, the All-Mighty Senators are awesome. we got out of Sonar at about 3:30am and headed over to the Talking Head where we stayed until 6:30am. it was basically the staff of Sonar and the Talking Head there. definitely fun... although at this point i am frozen and my feet are killing me (i should have known better than to wear new Chucks). anyway, what can i say? the year started off right this time. i'm excited. anyway, i'm scatterbrained. so until next time...
♥
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|